What we focus on tends to grow
Your mind is a powerful tool. Therefore, it is important to choose our words and where we put our focus carefully. How we think can impact how we feel. Being mindful of words can shift perspective, while enhancing mood and self-esteem. Do you ever struggle with perfectionism or feeling like you can never get enough done in a day? Does this ever lead to overwhelming stress or perhaps even panic attacks? Do you associate your sense of worth with accomplishment? Here are a couple of exercises that may help with a shift in perspective and well-being for those of us who struggle with perfectionism or self-worth:
Life can be fairly demanding at times, and sometimes it can feel hard to keep up. How many times have you used the words “should” or “have to” while reviewing your tasks for the day? Do you notice any feelings associated with these words, perhaps guilt or shame? What happens if you start replacing “should” with “it would benefit me if,” or “I have to” with “I get to?”
We often have long lists of “to do’s” that never seem to end. After a while this can seem daunting and challenge our feelings of capability. At the end of each day, review or bullet point 3-5 things that you have accomplished that day. This could be as simple as making your bed, or even getting up out of bed. The point of this exercise is to start refocusing your attention on your abilities and strengths over deficits which can improve self-esteem and lower stress. When energized by our strengths and leading through this lens, it can build our capacity.
Carve 15 minutes to 1 hour every day for self-care. This can involve taking a walk during a lunch break, writing in a journal, taking a nap, calling a friend, or watching a funny movie, etc. Give yourself permission to nurture yourself, or perhaps allow me to give you this permission. Giving yourself time and space to decompress can shift your focus and sustain well-being.
Often when things feel like they are going wrong, it can be easy to lose track of what is going right. This can spiral into feelings of hopelessness and fear, and challenge your value. Take out a pen and paper, or colorful markers if you want to be creative, and start listing off what it is you are grateful for, what you love about yourself, and/ or what contributes to your peace and makes you feel safe. You can do this anywhere, but consider what environment brings you peace and if you have access, do it there. This could involve sitting under a tree with your shoes off and feeling the grass under your feet to ground you, or relaxing at the beach listening to the waves of the ocean as you write. Explore what types of places act as your sanctuary.
Creating a ritual of these routines can contribute overtime to sustainability and begin to shift how one views themselves and experiences their environment. Additionally, combining therapy alongside these tools can help to deconstruct patterns, build awareness, and reframe one’s story to support their process, self-image, and overall well-being.
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